


Knowing Without Knowing

by FrostCryptid



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Minor Character Death, Soulmates, Zangetsu is hollow ichigo, ossan is the other spirit, soulmate zanpakuto, theyre both still technically zangetsu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-03-14 17:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18952660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostCryptid/pseuds/FrostCryptid
Summary: Ichigo knew something was different all his life, but never knowing what or how he knew. Only after he turned fifteen did he start learning just what was going on.





	1. Choices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adversary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adversary/gifts).



> A huge thank you to my Honey Bunches, Adversary, for encouraging me and Dra for drawing a little something something. Also a huge thank you to the Hichiichi/shiroichi server for always supporting my ideas, no matter how shitty they are <3

Isshin remembers a panther spirit starting to come around when Ichigo was born. Remembers her in the nursery, chuffing at the newborn to calm him. She even slept wherever he was, whether with Masaki or back in the nursery. Worry clawed at him in a way it hadn’t since he helped stabilize that hollow within Masaki so she would live. In a way the panther might do should Ichigo make one wrong move toward her.

Trying to hide him away or take him off her would be a mistake though. He learned that the first night he took Ichigo into a kidō sealed room. She growled and pawed and clawed and roared at the door. Only giving in when she started manifesting herself where people who weren’t spiritually aware might see her.

After that, Isshin had no choice but to let her be around. Masaki knew of her and made conversation with her when feeding her son or changing him or all around taking care of him. She told the panther what she was doing and why, let her understand what was happening, as if the panther could actually understand them.

She watched with rapt attention, observing where Masaki's hands went and what they were doing. The black ears twitching in every which way either in excitement or listening for any threats that would harm the newborn. Curiosity never left her eyes, hungering for anything she could learn about what noise was what and what each one meant. A baby seemed new to her even if a cub would be the same.

Then they started to wonder if their shinigami and quincy powers skipped over Ichigo since he showed no signs of either. Even pretending not to see Pantera, or feared he'd be told imaginary friends aren't real. Until he turned four, when his mother found herself seeing Ichigo interact with her and learning the panther's name.

“Pantera! Pantera! Look what I found!” Masaki turned to ask who Ichigo was talking to if not her, but then saw him walk right up to his panther showing off a simple looking rock; his panther since she had always been around him. “It’s not as cool as Keigo’s but it’s still pretty!” The panther nudged him to the shore and curled around him where he sat, like a mother protecting her cub. “Maybe the twins will like it?”

Both animal and boy seemed in their own little world, Ichigo talking and laughing as if Pantera answered him back. He was a happy little boy and Masaki couldn't be more glad with him and now the twins. All three of them and her husband made her happy she was able to have this.

It made her think maybe her powers had come back, even the slightest amount could possibly take shape. She wondered why they would take on a panther form and why would she name herself Pantera?

It wasn’t until much later, after Masaki’s death, that she would know just what Pantera was and who she belonged to.

Pantera made herself known to the twins after the loss of their mother, as much as she could since Yuzu showed no signs of any kind of power. They found comfort in her presence while Ichigo found comfort in Isshin’s. He didn’t want to cling to anything, for fear of killing them like he did his own mother. It may not have been on purpose but he still caused her to die.

Eventually Ichigo himself stopped it all. Forced himself to ignore Pantera, stopped himself from accepting any kind of love from Isshin, and stopped Yuzu and Karin from reaching out to him. He shut himself away from the world, taking precautions from letting anyone else die because of him. It seemed to work for a while before Isshin spotted Pantera in his peripheral vision one evening after Ichigo got home from school. He was glad she was so persistent and not able to have a door slammed in her face.

Eventually Yuzu and Karin quit asking for their Ichi-nii and Isshin stopped comforting his son. It pained them all to see how withdrawn the young man became but they also knew he needed the space to recover. No matter if it was going on the tenth year now. They still hoped and waited for the day he reached out a hand to them, asking for their help.

Ichigo sighed, frustrated Pantera still followed him around. He didn’t want her to and she knew it, but never listened. Laughed in his face a couple times and on one memorable occasion almost bit him for trying to force her away with fists. Not even screaming at her on the edge of town made her leave him alone. All it did was make him break down and she carried him home afterwards. Always careful with him, always gentle.

His father saw his state and how he clung to Pantera. “Jeez, son. What happened this time?”

“Nothing that I didn’t deserve.” Ichigo pushed himself off Pantera which made her hiss, knowing full well he still needed to lean against her for balance. “Oh, shut up! You’re such a pain in the ass and won’t leave me the hell alone when I tell you to in the first place!”

 _”Maybe because you’re still just a cub and don’t understand how important your life is!”_ Isshin’s ear rang, this was one of the only times Pantera let herself be heard by more than just Ichigo. Meaning this conversation was important and he needed to listen.

“How could someone who killed their own mother be important?” Ichigo yelled back at her, still hurting in his hearts of hearts that he never let heal because he believed he deserved the pain and suffering his mother’s death left. Pantera tried to help ease the hurt but all he did was push her away, afraid of causing her untimely death too. He had to admit though, she had been a spirit for a good long while already. What made her cling to him so tightly?

_”Because that someone may just have a soulmate waiting for them!”_

Both males froze, unable to shake their shock of that statement; Isshin the only one who knew exactly what that meant. Having a soulmate was mostly unheard of, especially since the only way to tell would be having each other’s zanpakuto and it rarely happened before either person died. Meaning this case, Ichigo’s case, was completely rare since he hadn’t died yet and Pantera being with him since birth meant her owner was already dead.

“What happened?” Ichigo’s voice so quiet, again worried he’d somehow been the cause of yet another death. Not really understanding why he was asking, just knowing that he couldn’t handle being kept in the dark about this.

 _”It’s hard to say. I only remember dying and being reborn with him until I felt my presence needed elsewhere. Needed here, with you and your family, Ichigo. His death was not your fault. He died before your parents ever met.”_ Pantera butt her head against Ichigo’s legs, showing her happiness of him still being alive. _”I made him aware that one as strong as I would replace me as I would replace the one in your soul.”_

Ichigo still showed confusion, not getting just who exactly she had replaced. Only Pantera noticed Isshin’s dark look towards her, she gave one of her own. The cub had to know what he was. It would protect him to know the truth about his heritage. Just as Pantera was going to warn Ichigo, Isshin knocked his son out. “He doesn’t know and doesn’t need to know.”

_”You know as well as I he cannot ignore the bond forever. He cannot ignore my owner just as he cannot ignore the other half of his soul. I most certainly will not lie to him anymore. He has the right-”_

“Pantera!”

 _”No! Isshin, he has to know the truth! Have you not seen how sleepless he’s gotten? How little he eats? I have! And it hurts knowing but being able to do nothing!”_ Her soul searching gaze looks deep in Isshin’s dark eyes as he looks into her own dark blue. _”It hurts to not comfort him as he denies even me. More and more recently he’s realized subconsciously I am not truly his. His very soul is starting to reject me since he refuses to accept me anymore.”_

"I'll help him see you again then. As a matter of fact, we'll help. You, Yuzu, Karin, and I. Then I'll tell him about everything." Pantera believed him, she hoped he kept his word.

Little did they know, the next year that came would be a step in the wrong and right direction and Isshin would never get the chance to explain anything. Ichigo would meet a shinigami by the name of Rukia Kuchiki, offering her powers up to help save Ichigo's family. Pantera would feel good fighting again but also just as fiercely protective as Ichigo.

But in another world of white sand and endless night, three voices screamed in rage at the feeling of losing their other halves.


	2. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Grimmjow was finally having some fun, there's a hint of a disturbance and it's not in any way a good thing.

Grimmjow stopped when he noticed Zangetsu and Ossan had stopped behind him. He wondered what was going on inside their heads and if they were doing the freaky telepathic thing Grimmjow was sometimes privy to. Watching them communicate reminded Grimmjow of how he'd seen other Arrancar observe body language and be able to talk just like that.

The two zanpakuto spirits grew strong enough to manifest themselves early on. First time seeing both of them made him wonder just why there were two.

Ossan, a coat flowing in no breeze and a pair of yellowed wrap around glasses on his person, seen holding the hand of a small child, unwilling to let go even if Grimmjow was their aruji. The child pure white from head to toe other than the shrunken shihakusho on him. The gold pupils resting in black sclera gave them away as a hollow and activated Grimmjow’s first instinct to devour. The swords each of them carried were odd in shape but matched their bodies length, something he hadn’t seen before.

Both man and child proved him wrong though, they were as fierce and cunning as he himself. Tough opponents and he wasn't even all that surprised.

Once he found that out, his manic grin hadn’t left his face the rest of the day.

Getting stronger became something Grimmjow yearned for and always looked for his next strong opponent; mostly disappointed when there were none to be found. Few challenged him but none came even close to winning. How sad it became when he started getting bored of all the weaklings coming his way, thinking they had a chance. Those years were slow and not much happened, except a shinigami placing himself above the hollows, arrancar and below.

Sosuke Aizen.

Now much later in their life with Zangetsu mostly grown up, Ossan observed their fight for what seemed to be more than the thousandth time; both of them having switched their swords with each other once Zangetsu was big enough to hold the khyber blade. The zanpakuto spirit was always ready for a battle and Grimmjow knew how hard he could go on them. Stopping seemed to be too wasteful with how much reiatsu they were putting out to scare away any hollows from coming too close. Zangetsu seemed just as strong as Grimmjow if not more so; making them surpass Ulquiorra and possibly even Yammy. He himself, however, could never fully access that power, like it was never fully his to have in the first place. Not that the spirits and he didn’t meld well, a wall seemed to be blocking him from getting it. The situation pissed him off enough to fight Zangetsu with everything he had.

 _”Che, you can’t defeat me as you are. What makes you think you're worthy to be my king? I have one already remember? There ain’t no way I’ll carry two of you.”_ They’d had the conversation before Grimmjow ever got close to them. Their one and only king would always be the one they came from and, someday, may be lucky enough to return to.

Another attack, another block and then a parry. They knew each other’s moves like the back of their hands. Reading the other's mind was considered cheating for them and absolutely out of the question. Neither would ever get anywhere if all they did was predict every move. Their battles would get tedious and boring after a while like that. "What makes you think you need to?"

A matching grin of bloody glee spread across Zangetsu's face, more than happy to have Grimmjow fighting them in place of someone weak. Hollows couldn't stand up to them and Aizen forbid any of the Espada from fighting until his plans came to fruition. The shinigami couldn't afford to lose any of his _precious_ soldiers. So they would have to make their aruji stronger this way. They could tap into their full potential with ease, helping Grimmjow more and more, making him stronger with nothing but his own skill.

Zangetsu slashed upward but Grimmjow was quick to block. He countered with a kick, knocking the other away from him before he shot a cero. It ended up being redirected as a Getsuga Tenshou was released. Dodging effortlessly with a sonido, Grimmjow again brought up his sword to parry another attack. _"Is it really that baffling? Why I would need to? You have so much potential yet you **waste** it! On what you wonder? The answer is nothing!"_

"What the hell do you mean?" Grimmjow wasn't sure if he'd get an answer as Zangetsu shot a Getsuga Tenshou point blank. His hierro repelled most of the damage but he still ended up with a bleeding arm.

 _"You lie in wait for the next order that fucker Aizen gives you. Never doing anything else. No fighting other than with me and occasionally Ossan. You barely hunt enough to keep yourself sated. Trying to be a good little soldier?"_ Zangetsu thought they could talk to him like that? Like he was nothing but a _pet_? Maybe he could blame it on his temper or hotheadedness but he couldn't hold back anymore. The insinuation of being nothing more than a caged animal.

Grimmjow was a _king_.

"Venture," Ossan moved between them, stopping their battle and stopping Grimmjow from using his release form.

_"What the hell, Ossan! Things were finally starting to get interesting!"_

**_"Hollow, can't you feel it?"_ **

Grimmjow lowered his sword. Ossan had always been the more quiet of his two zanpakuto spirits but when he spoke, it was with wisdom and urgency. What would he feel that would cause him to put himself in the middle of his two companions? He used Pesquisa and blanketed it over a decent amount of Hueco Mundo but felt nothing. "Ossan, there's nothing-"

**_"Feel with your soul, not your abilities."_ **

A chasm of emptiness filled his heart, questioning of what in the world it could be from and why it was happening. Snarling, he immediately sat, diving deep into his inner world filled with a lush never ending forest. Zangetsu and Ossan followed right after, curiosity and anger warring for dominance. Neither one winning but both under the surface of emotions. The two zanpakuto spirits would follow their aruji until the very end, even if it meant being destroyed in their inner world, which was unheard of as far as they could tell.

With the forest as his inner world, he vaguely remembered a time when there was another entity entirely. Of a different shape, of voice, of gender. All of it felt like a dream but he knew at some point it had been real. Grimmjow couldn’t say he missed her because he barely remembered those details but like it’d been said before, Zangetsu and Ossan weren’t his. They weren’t his to keep and weren’t his to have. Not sure what to feel about that, he stalked through the underbrush so he could keep his mind off the potential of losing them after having them for so long.

Following his instinct to investigate what happened in a place only he and his zanpakuto have access to, he kept moving, afraid if he did stop he wouldn’t have it in him to continue. Snarling at himself, Grimmjow felt the two spirits behind him, willing to go through anything and everything with him. The reminder of having them near was nice and he knew he didn’t need to thank them for it. They understood how much they meant to him just by feeling for him as he could do for them.

After pushing another branch out of the way, they found themselves at the end of the forest which _should_ have no end. “What the hell?” What they stood in front of surprised all of them. A wall of blue, blue sky shone down on them when no light should be able to peek from above the foliage since it was so thick. How could it have happened? “Nothing could have done this easily, especially since this is _my_ inner world. Ossan, you noticed it. Any thoughts?”

_**”No. I cannot tell where it came from or why this part of the forest is missing completely. Only that there is something very wrong here.”**_ A foul wind blew from under the cliffside they were standing on. It reeked of death and despair but with a hint of fire and protection. 

Grimmjow wondered what it could be from and when he had an idea of a possibility, pain ripped through his chest. Zangetsu and Ossan called his name as they caught him before he toppled over the cliffside. None of them calmed down until he stood on solid ground, then they took Grimmjow with them when they both manifested. 

On white sand under an endless night, all three screamed in rage at the feeling of losing their other halves. 


End file.
